Working together to change behaviour
An issue Doctor G has seen many modern parents grapple with is resilience. It’s so easy to do things for our kids these days, but that doesn’t mean that we should. Building resilience often means kids not automatically getting things their own way – and unfortunately when in-home child care is involved, it can be the Nanny who bears the brunt of the push-back when this happens.
“It’s really hard as a caregiver when you agree with the parents that the kids should have a couple of chores to do when they get home from school, and you’re willing to take charge of them doing those things, but then you have the parents arriving home and greeted by a tantrum,” says Deborah. It’s even harder when the parent just wants you to quieten things down, even if that means placating the child – and undoing all your hard work in the process.
Deborah suggests that these are situations for a Nanny to be proactive. First it’s essential to agree on a goal, and on a strategy to get there (e.g. no television until the playroom is tidied up). Then, should things get chaotic, try to meet the parent at the door and say something like, “I’m happy to see you. Remember we agreed to work on Johnny tidying his room? Well, we’ve been working on that and what you’re about to see and hear is Johnny’s reaction to learning that responsibility.”
Getting the behaviour you want ... without being the parent you hate by Deborah Gilboa, MD, is widely available as a paperback via online stores and as an ebook in the Apple iBookstore and Amazon Kindle store amongst others
Date: 23-January-2019 @ 7:55 pm